another moral hangover. fuck.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
