I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
