Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
