Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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