6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
