the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
