She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize