I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
