If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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