what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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