So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize