ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
