You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
