Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
