You can't motorboat a personality
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize