he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
