i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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