fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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