I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
