I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
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