please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize