he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
