You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Little spoons don't ask big questions
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
