Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
How external is "for external use only"?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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