I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
