Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
