He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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