I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
