please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
