i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
