You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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