organizing the empties. That sober.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
