he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
