If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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