ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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