she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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