What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
