i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize