In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
