My liver just broke up with me...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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