You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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