I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
