well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
