AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
