we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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