omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I currently don't understand fingers.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize