exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
