that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
