well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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