he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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