you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
