Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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