you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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