pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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