i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
