why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
