My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
