She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize