...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
