Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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