One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
