either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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