i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
