Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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