one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
