We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
