I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize