I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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