dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
