Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
