There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
