apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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