They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
